The Diocesan Director of Ordinands (DDO) is an essential figure in your discernment journey. I see the DDO not just as a gateway, but as a conduit and a person with great experience to share. They will help you navigate the system, but their ability to help is entirely dependent on your clarity and honesty.
Here is the unified strategy for establishing a trusting, supportive, and effective relationship with your DDO and the wider diocese:
1. Full Disclosure, Honesty at Every Step
It is a vital part of the process to tell the diocese about your neurodivergence right from the start. If you don’t tell someone, they don’t know—and even if you put it on a form, that doesn’t guarantee the reader has fully understood its impact.
My initial in-person conversation with my DDO was about my Dyslexia, and I followed up later with my ADHD assessment results. Being open and honest at every step is the key here.
Advocacy is Not Apology
This honesty must carry forward. I made sure to tell every person in my Stage One interviews that I had Dyslexia and to bear with me.
This wasn’t me being apologetic. I was being clear that I am likely to be slow in processing some information and may need an extra few seconds. I am just used to telling people, “Look, I need you to understand my disability so we can communicate effectively.” This simple clarity pre-empts misunderstanding and sets a productive tone.
Your DDO can and will help you with how to word things, or settle nerves if you’re not sure how an assessment may go.
2. Set Communication Expectations
For anyone managing ADHD, the method of communication can be the difference between prompt success and total paralysis. Set clear expectations out from the start.
For me, the preferred method of communication is email. If you call me, I’m not picking up; if you email me, I will often respond in 10 minutes. Setting this expectation—email only—out from the start really smooths things out. It leverages my hyperfocus and prevents anxiety spikes from unexpected calls, ensuring reliable communication.
3. Define Support
Be proactive and transparent about what support you are looking for. This allows you to understand what support is available at all stages.
Disclose Your Needs: Be specific about the type of support you need (e.g., printed materials on coloured paper, extended time for written tasks, etc.).
Understand Their Offer: Ask your DDO what support the diocese is likely to offer or what accommodations are standard.
This shared conversation ensures that even if they don’t match your request exactly, you understand the baseline support available, which allows you to negotiate further if needed, keeping you in control of your journey.