Waiting feels less like a hurdle and more like a built-in feature of the Anglican discernment process. There’s the reflective waiting and listening before the formal process, and then there are the structured, anxious periods after each stage.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that the neurodivergent experience here is not the same for everyone.
For a friend who also has ADHD too, the reflective waiting time before the formal stages was and remains difficult—a time where they constantly questioned their calling because challenge after challenge showed up. Their inner narrative suggested that if the calling were “real,” things would run smoothly. They persevered only with the constant help of others, reminding them to have faith.
For me, twenty years after my first call, the pre-formal wait was genuinely helpful. I wasn’t in a rush, and it offered a crucial chance to speak publicly about Christ, which confirmed my calling.
However, the wait after Stage One—even knowing the timeframes—felt like waiting for important test results from the NHS: a true nervousness that hijacked my focus. This feeling is rooted in Time Agnosia, a feature of ADHD where the brain struggles to accurately perceive the passing of time. A week can genuinely feel like three months.
This warped sense of time, when paired with the anxiety of a major life decision, creates chaos. Here are strategies to survive the agony of the post-Stage One void.
The Strategy: Use WAIT to Control Anxiety
The primary enemy during this time isn’t the clock; it’s rumination—constantly replaying your interview answers and predicting outcomes. We can use a simple technique to re-route that racing brain: the WAIT strategy.
This is a mental process that acknowledges the anxiety, puts it aside, and shifts focus back to the present moment:
W: Watch Your Thoughts. Don’t try to stop the anxious thought (e.g., “Did I ramble too much about the Eucharist?”). Just observe it. Recognise it as an anxiety spike, not a prophecy.
A: Acknowledge the Anxiety. Say internally, “I am feeling anxious because I am waiting for an important decision.” Naming the feeling removes its power.
I: Intervene with Action. This is the crucial ADHD step. Give your brain a small, immediate task that is not checking email. This could be a 5-minute movement break, doing a single household chore, working on a sermon outline or read the bible.
T: Trust the Process. Remind yourself that the interviews are done, and your work is over. The outcome is now in God’s hands and the hands of the diocese.
Spiritual Grounding, use Conversational Prayer
When the anxiety is spiking, traditional silent prayer can feel impossible. Instead, use the conversational prayer method that works for your ADHD brain (as we discussed in the previous article).
Walk and Talk: If you can’t be still, walk. Use the time you feel compelled to ruminate to instead talk to God about the anxiety. Unpack your worries conversationally, giving that mental energy a constructive output.
Be Honest: Pray about the actual feeling: “Lord, I am so nervous about this wait, and I keep checking my phone. Please take this restlessness and use it.” Honesty is the deepest form of spiritual grounding.
ADHD Hack: Redefine “Productive”
Since the waiting period lacks external deadlines, it creates a void that executive function struggles to fill. Do not try to start a new, massive project. Instead, focus on small, low-stakes activities that demonstrate you are still taking your calling seriously without risking burnout:
Plan, Don’t Execute: Spend time planning future small group materials or sermon themes without actually writing them. This satisfies the ADHD need for novelty and structure without demanding the focus needed for a complex task.
Physical Presence: Invest time in physical service to your parish community that doesn’t involve heavy reading or paperwork. Volunteer for coffee hour, set up the church, or tend the garden. Movement and tangible service are excellent counterweights to mental anxiety.
The wait is painful because it forces stillness. But by using the WAIT strategy and leaning into a movement-based spiritual life, you can transform that anxious pause into a time of deep, authentic reliance on faith.