I want to preface this by saying that my DDO has been nothing but supportive, patient and open about not knowing everything. That honesty and nature helped me through my discernment process, but the field isn’t even and this is an Open Letter to ALL DDO’s across the Church of England letting them know some of what goes on behind the scenes.
Dear Diocesan Director of Ordinands,
You are tasked with walking alongside candidates as they discern the quiet, often complex call of God, while simultaneously navigating the structures of the Church of England’s Shared Discernment Process.
This letter isn’t a critique of your work, your patent, loving, god-given work. But to shed light on what feels to many like a disconnect. For those without Neurodiversity things may feel difficult, but with that diversity there are invisible barriers that make things feel impossible. And as someone with ADHD and Dyslexia, I know that all too well.
I don’t pretend to speak on behalf of all who have Neurodiversity, and this letter isn’t intended to even speak to everything ADHD or Dyslexia. But this letter is to enable you to understand more, such that we can all achieve more together.
Often, candidates will not tell you about these struggles. We fear that admitting how difficult the process is will be misinterpreted as an inability to handle the ministry. When that couldn’t be further from reality.
So, here are a few things that you may not see, but that we feel.
Exhaustion and Frustration with the Medium
It sounds odd, but we all know the Church of England Discernment Process is one which is text-heavy. From the initial forms and suggested reading to the vast reading we feel is needed to understand what is wanted at each stage, the medium of communication is heavily weighted toward a very specific, neurotypical academic standard. READING and WRITING.
For a dyslexic candidate, asking us to read a 2,000-word essay does not just test our theological mind; it tests our endurance against a system not built for our brains. The mental energy expended simply understanding and processing texts, battling spelling anxiety if we need to make notes or a summary, and all at a slow pace that makes us feel anger, upset and frustration.
I say all this, and you may think “they are lazy” or “they want us to lower standards” when actually we don’t. We just want you to know that things maybe slower for us to process, that reading or writing can feel painful, and know that we will mask this - because we don’t know any other way, or that we are scared.
Timelines Cause Chaos
The structured pacing of the discernment process causes absolute chaos for an ADHD brain.
We deeply struggle with the waiting and the vast spacing between events. When we feel the call, our natural instinct is to run at it with full momentum. Prolonged periods of silence drain that energy and leave us in a state of paralysis or frustration.
Equally, while the sheer volume of administration is overwhelming, we actually appreciate being given strict, concrete deadlines to complete work like forms or reflective essays. Yes, a hard deadline will stress us out immensely, but it provides the essential external pressure our brains require to lock in focus and get the job done. Without a firm deadline, executive dysfunction sets in, and tasks drift endlessly.
When a candidate appears erratic—champing at the bit one month and struggling with a paperwork window the next—it is not a lack of commitment or a failure of basic organisation required for ministry. It is the reality of navigating a rigid timetable with a brain wired for urgency and momentum. We know that Parish ministry is dynamic and responsive, we want you to see how our drive will serve the Church, rather than just focusing on the friction we experience with the discernment schedule.
The Masking Tax
"Masking" is the conscious or subconscious effort neurodivergent people use to hide their traits to fit into a neurotypical world.
Throughout panels, interviews, and parish placements, many ND candidates are heavily masking. We are trying to sit still, maintain the "correct" amount of eye contact, process questions sequentially, and suppress our natural, non-linear ways of communicating. And let me be honest, in my Stage 2, I got entirely distracted by a squirrel outside the window … the advisors were fantastic and laughed with me as I brought myself back to their question.
I make an active effort in many scenarios to not mask, but that doesn’t mean I am not using every bit of energy to use my work arounds, my building blocks, the things that keep me going through any process.
That masking takes an immense physiological and emotional toll.
When we ask for adjustments—whether that is a quiet space during Stage 2, permission to pace during chats and interviews, or the questions provided in written format during an interview—these are not crutches. They are the tools we need to lower the masking tax so you can meet the real candidate, not just the exhausted version of us trying to act neurotypical.
The ‘Well Rounded’ Myth
Neurodivergent individuals typically have what psychologists call a “spiky profile.” This means we have extraordinary, often above-average strengths in certain areas (such as crisis management, profound empathy, creative preaching, or big-picture problem-solving) alongside significant struggles in others (such as administration, sequential planning, or reading heavy texts).
The discernment process, however, is largely designed to test for a “well-rounded” candidate, someone who is generally competent across all fields. Because the process leans so heavily on administration and traditional academics, our “dips” are constantly highlighted and scrutinised, while our “peaks” are often given little to no platform to shine.
We are capable of incredible ministry, but we need you to evaluate our pastoral and creative gifts with the same weight you give to our administrative friction. That is why we advocate for our needs, it’s why we ask for our disability to be known at each stage. Its not an apology, its being honest about who we are and how God has made us.
A Way Forward
We know that DDOs want to foster diverse vocations, we also know the Church (via synod) also does. To do that, the Church must be willing to shift from expecting candidates to fit the mould of the process, to asking how the process can flex to reveal the true calling of the candidate. Again, we are not asking for different standards, just flexing how you seek those criteria.
Please, ask us what formats work best for our communication. Advocate for alternative ways we can demonstrate our competencies beyond just the written word both during our process and when talking with others about the process. And above all, trust that our non-linear, neurodivergent minds are not a problem for the Church to solve, but a gift the Church desperately needs.
The call is divine. Lets work together to ensure the process does not drown it out.
To help us work together, here are some resources you may find useful to understand more about Neurodiversity and working with us.
ADHD UK (adhduk.co.uk) – A brilliant charity created by people with ADHD for people with ADHD. It offers invaluable insights into how the condition impacts daily functioning and executive control.
The British Dyslexia Association (bdadyslexia.org.uk) – The foremost UK authority providing guidance on how dyslexia impacts adults in the workplace and education, as well as practical advice on reasonable adjustments.
Made By Dyslexia (madebydyslexia.org) – A global charity focused not on the struggles of dyslexia, but on the unique, powerful strengths of “Dyslexic Thinking” (which was recently added as an official skill on LinkedIn).
ADDitude Magazine (additudemag.com) – While US-based, this is arguably the most comprehensive online resource for understanding the nuances of ADHD, particularly lesser-known traits like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and executive dysfunction.
Access to Work (gov.uk/access-to-work) – DDOs should be highly familiar with this UK Government scheme. It can provide grants to help pay for practical support (like software or coaching) for neurodivergent candidates once they are in training or ministry.
Disability & Jesus (disabilityandjesus.org.uk) – A UK-based, user-led initiative exploring the theology of disability and providing a voice for disabled and neurodivergent people within the Church.
Neurodivergent Ministry (neurodivergentministry.com) - I am bias, this is my own website. But its full of resources for those going through the process, and we are building up support guides for DDO’s and Parishes too.
I hope this letter serves not as a criticism, but as an invitation. An invitation to sit down together, look at how we assess candidates, and ensure that no genuine, Spirit-led calling is ever lost in the paperwork.
If you are a DDO or part of a vocations team and would like to have an open, constructive conversation about anything I’ve shared here, please do reach out. You can directly to this email or send me a message—my inbox is always open, and I would genuinely welcome the chance to speak with you.
With every blessing,
Andy
